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(Note: The TETELESTAI post is the official "Go" for redemption/exchange.)

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Friday, June 2, 2017

"Tonight's Word: The Nonprofit Prophet" - Heisenberg - 6.1.17

Entry Submitted by Heisenberg at 11:19 PM EDT on June 1, 2017

They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
I guess that's so, we don't have a lot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got, - I Got You Babe

And that brings us to tonight's word: THE NONPROFIT PROPHET

Profit is a crazy thing, isn't it? It's turning into a false belief with every passing day. Kinda like religion, interest, and money in general. Christmas? I spent an entire career talking with people from the lending industry. Auto loans, home loans, commercial building loans....it's all one big house of cards isn't it? "Watch out. You better lock in. The Feds meeting this week....let's see what Alan Greenspan says. Rates could shoot up or rates could go down....I'll tell you after Wednesday." What a load of cow pies.

Some of us here have never been in the profit game. Maybe they've always had a salary job. W-2. Maybe they rented a home instead of purchasing so there was never the expectation of profit or loss at time of sale.

And there are others who are in sales are constantly thinking of profit. It's embedded in the brain. It's a profit deal.


Everything done on or off the clock revolves around turning one into two. This also includes but not limited to, those who start their own businesses, franchise owners, antiquers, storage wars, house flippers, land investers/developers, used car dealers, kids and lemonade stands, and on and on. So we're all chasing this imaginary pot of gold at the end of a rainbow called profit.

And it reminded me of something that Zap and Doug used to mention on their calls. If you submit a business plan to them, they say that they will fund your project. No money down if I remember correctly. That's good. And it doesn't even have to make a profit. What's the catch? It does however need to break even if I remember correctly. So that got me thinking. What if it comes year end and I am operating at a loss? And the only way to get back to breaking even would be big layoffs? Or cutting employee health insurance or daycare or employee meals? Is it meet the new boss same as the old boss? I don't know. But I'm glad I don't have to think about making a profit. I'm glad I don't have to think about breaking even neither.

Let's say for example I want to create jobs in the restaurant industry. I want to make healthy chicken nuggets so naturally I compete with Wendy's. So after I talk to a farm to deliver free range chickens for my restaurant for which I will need to buy the land and build bricks and sticks, buy insurance (which is pretty expensive due to nature of business), pay my property taxes, pay for electricity, gas, water, heating and cooling, buy furniture, get a deep fryer and all the kitchen appliances, registers, cups/bags/straws/napkins/wrappers, and anything else I forgot. Oh name tags. Gotta have name tags. It's the little things. And of course my human resources to whom I will pay at least $40,000 a year because this is the dawn of a new age. And of course health insurance and daycare because it's the right thing to do. Ooh, did I mention marketing?

So now I'm all set up and I go to the Wendy's drive-through to check out the competition. Four chicken nuggets for one dollar?? And boom goes the dynamite. It hits me: these corporations have had decades to perfect the low-cost food items (buying power, think Walmart). They practice tax avoidance. They negotiated the lowest shipping cost possible. They've added pink slime to their hamburgers to stretch out quantity. Google it. Gross. They don't offer health insurance. And they don't offer daycare. And they pay their people eight dollars an hour (before taxes).

So tell me again how in this new age and I'm supposed to keep pace with these corporate juggernauts and still break even? If the stipulation for the chosen ones to get these funds was to at least break even steven on their projects, there would be a 99% failure rate (I imagine). "I want all of you, with minimal business experience, to #1 help humanity thru job creation (no casinos), #2 compete with existing businesses with much more experience and #3 turn a profit or at least break even." What you talking about, Willis?

And there is a lot to think about in regards to project management as we were reminded recently. It was a good reminder that a lot goes into building a successful project. Probably more than any of us thought about. These are all the items of your project you need to show the bank or investors to approve your loan or entice investors. But what if you don't need investors? What if you could throw spagetti at a fridge and get your funding? Thank God that we will be able to operate at a loss and still sleep at night. No fear of being fired or firing that single mother of two. No fear of losing our funding. No fear at all. How sweet it is.

And I think it'll be fun to hire accountants just to tell me how much I lose every year. To have them come into the boardroom like it's a funeral parlor. Each one pushing the other to be the first to deliver the bad news that I lost $350 million last year because of my wreckless day care and homeless shelter investments. I think that'll be pretty funny. I could maybe throw a chair for effect.

Most successful businessmen and women have multiple businesses each bringing in varying profits or losses. So if they have one restaurant location taking a bath, they may want to keep it open because it's in a good location with great name branding. However another restaurant could be making all the money that covers the first restaurants losses. I guess that's a form of diversification or not keeping all your eggs in one basket. Lucky for us we are going to have one very profitable business which more than covers all the other tanking businesses. And of course that one cash cow is our Motherload account earning 8 to 10% per year. You can have all the hemorrhaging turkeys you want with that income.

That Motherload account is going to allow us to create all the free range chicken nugget restaurants with free daycare and free insurance and still offer chicken nuggets for less than a quarter a piece. You know what? Maybe those workers deserve a raise. How's $88,000 a year sound? Great, sign here.

Profit is a funny thing. It's a great gift that we won't have to worry about this soon to be outdated concept. If we want to bury our heads in balance sheets and profit loss statements, we can. We can call it therapy if that's what floats our boats. And if you want to hire a project manager or two to oversee these financial trainwrecks, as Rocky Balboa says "Go for it". Just don't skimp on the bathroom tile. It's the little things.


A couple project managers on the payroll means you're creating jobs and it's a couple less trips to the job site for you. We will have one more for-profit transaction and that's it. No Mas. Sayonara. So if any out there are still requiring your clients to break even on the projects they submit, maybe you should look for a different angel investor. Someone who's a little more lenient with the 163 zeros coming online. Or maybe refer them to Bruce or someone who will give them what they need to accomplish their goals, you know, for the sake of humanity. Because there's no such thing as the breakeven prophet.

And that's the word.






"Some Might Say"

Some might say that sunshine follows thunder
Go and tell it to the man who cannot shine
Some might say that we should never ponder
On our thoughts today cos they hold sway over time
Some might say we will find a brighter day
Some might say we will find a brighter day
Cos I've been standing at the station
In need of education in the rain
You made no preparation for my reputation once again
The sink is full of fishes
She's got dirty dishes on the brain
It was overflowing gently but it's all elementary my friend
Some might say they don't believe in heaven
Go and tell it to the man who lives in hell
Some might say you get what you've been given
If you don't get yours I won't get mine as well
Some might say we will find a brighter day
Some might say we will find a brighter day
Cos I've been standing at the station
In need of education in the rain
You made no preparation for my reputation once again
The sink is full of fishes
Cos she's got dirty dishes on the brain
And my dog's been itchin'
Itchin' in the kitchen once again
Some might say Some might say
Some might say Some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say
You know what some might say



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