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Saturday, May 27, 2017

"Gratitude and Confession of a Lightworker" by B - 5.27.17

Entry Submitted by B at 2:12 AM EDT on May 27, 2017

Hi everyone,

I am grateful for many things in my life. Especially being here in IDC. I have gone thru many things in life. Never knowing why. I have been betrayed by many people that I love and cared for. Earlier today I had a great time treasure hunting with my daughter at the park. It's so much fun being so little because the simplest of things can be treasure. We found lots of cool stuff, like monopoly money. What are the odds of that? And some glitter putty, which she was excited about. As the afternoon went on, I thought of last night when God put me where I needed to be, when I needed to be there. I studied locksmithing, just in case I ever got locked out or in someplace. Well after a series of events, I went to smoke a cigarette out my window and found that my neighbor had been locked out of her house. I didn't tell her I had lock picks, just in case I couldn't find them. I went to look for them and by the time I went back to the window she was gone. So I smoke another cig. I enjoy smoking and I already made up my mind that I will NOT get cancer from smoking so no worries.


Anyway, I kept asking God to bring her back so I could help. I never got my certificate but I aced my tests. So I knew I could help her. After fifteen minutes of waiting at my window, she shows up with a friend and a ladder to climb up to her window and go in to unlock the door. I called to her and said to give me a few, I think I could help. Well, I got outside and the first try I had locked the door again so I reset and on the second try I unlocked her door. It took about five minutes. She was very grateful and I loved it. I am stating this not because I am looking for brownie points but because I got to use my skill to help someone. I have doubted myself for as long as I can remember, and the fact that God put me where I was needed was epic. Again today, I was having my Mango-rita and I saw her walking passed my apartment. Something told me to go out to her. She told me that she accidentally gave her kitty, medicine for fleas and ticks that was meant for dogs. She was crying when I saw her because her cat was shaking. And she didn't have $500 to get her checked out. So I prayed out loud and asked God and Jesus to help her kitty. I lost my beloved cat because I didn't have $150 to get him checked out and I did everything I could, but he died in bed with me as we laid down to take our usual nap together. So I knew how she felt. As I prayed, I saw white light come down to her kitty and saw her healed. Whenever I pray, my prayers get answered because I pray and have faith from my heart that all will be well. Everything is always working out for me. I gave her some milk for her kitty to drink, because milk cuts any poison or medicine in half of the potency. I tried committing suicide with a cocktail of pills when I was 17, and my sister gave me half a gallon of milk to drink. Long story, maybe someday I will spill the beans. Well it worked obviously otherwise I would not be here sharing this story. So a few minutes later, my neighbor texted me to say that her kitty drank some milk. She hadn't drank anything all day and for some reason couldn't. So then I went and gave her a can of tuna so that kitty could eat and not get an upset stomach. I figured it had only one ingredient, plus water, as opposed to their regular foods. I talked to her kitty and told her that I loved her and I understood that she is nervous of new people. Reason why was because I wanted to touch her and do the healing, but she was nervous and fussy. And I told my neighbor to give her lots of love to help her fight the overdose. Anyway, later kitty got better and all was well. I ended up having a huge conversation with my hubby. He feels left out because, I finally know who I am. And the whole thing with my neighbor and her cat just gave me the confidence that I needed to realize who I am.

I have been married for 22 years, I am only 40 going on 41 this June. For a long time, I did things that I thought were what wives were supposed to do for their husbands. I served him in every way imaginable. I thought it was my job to make him happy at my expense. I grew up old school. That's what wives did. But I realized that no matter what I did, it was never enough. Sex like bunnies, and he was still watching porn. I was cheated on, mistreated mentally, emotionally and psychologically which in turn hurts spiritually. My self esteem was so low that I hated my very existence. Everyone I thought liked me, loathed me enough to hurt me. His family did spells and summoned demons to kill me. Those were my Witch Wars. But I had been gifted to seek things that the status quo didn't. And I learned to defend against magick by learning what the enemy did to those of the Light. Return to sender spells are awesome. All this shit because I have never wanted to hurt anyone and have loved from my heart. I have gone thru more shit that anyone who is in their right mind would go thru with or for a spouse. But I love him was and always will be my answer. Injustice makes me angry beyond words. And I love giving people a taste of their own medicine.

But I found God. And he filled the void in my heart. I surrendered. Now my hubby feels left out because I no longer feel the urge of sex. I say that if marriage vows are true, then this is a test of how deep is your love for me. At one time I was afraid of losing him. Even after everything I have been thru. I have grown and learned a great deal. I don't hate him. I am grateful. And I forgave him years ago. He can't understand why I am not looking at him like a piece of meat. I don't look at anyone that way. All men and women are my brothers and sisters. He still operates in 3d mode. I confessed to him tonight, that for the first time in my life, I am not scared of life without him. I have God. And my mission comes first. If he no longer serves to be in my life, God will remove him. My husband used to say to me that I had to keep him interested. I remember saying to him before we got married, that I wanted what money could not buy. Money can buy sex. And bliss. But it doesn't last. So now, if he wants to keep me interested, he had better do his research.

I listened to the song by David Guetta today called Titanium. I can definitely relate to it. I'm sorry if I am not very articulate with words, unless I write a poem words or thoughts aren't fully expressed. Sometimes emotions come thru and words go bye-bye. Everything that I have endured, has made me a better empath, a better person and what I call, a White-Lighter. I am NOT the kind of Lightworker that turns the other cheek. Praise be to Jesus for being so Holy, cuz it couldn't and wouldn't be me. I hit back, and bite back too! One of my mottos is also a song I love, "Let's go!" By trick daddy. If you want it, you can get, let me know! I know that I am a warrior. My spirit tells me so. I could write a novel on all the crap thrown at me. All I can say is, I AM STILL STANDING! The world that God has put in my mind since my childhood IS COMING! Ready or Not, Here it Comes! And it will be GLORIOUS! Hallelujah!

Thank you for reading my post. Maybe someday, we can have lots to talk about.

With Love And Light To All,
B

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