The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years without a brain has given hope to many people.
Life was simpler when we could play a game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.
20 years ago we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Hope, No Cash, and No Jobs. Please Lord don't let Kevin Bacon Die.
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you need to be 'Saved" or you will "Burn". Stupid Firemen
Old People at weddings always poke me and say "You're Next!" So I started doing the same thing to them at Funerals.
Grant me wine to accept the things I cannot change, Coffee to change the things I can and a opaque mug so my co-workers can't tell the difference
God give me the serenity to accept people I cannot change, The Courage to change the one I can, And the Wisdom to know it's me.
First rule of Cleaning House while listening to ballads: The Toilet brush is not a Microphone
Life is too short to be serious all the time so, If you can't laugh at yourself, call me….I'll laugh at you.
Apparently when you treat people like they treat you they get upset. Who Knew?