I am so grateful for all the positive and uplifting comments here this evening; especially from Veritas once again. I am much in need of such positivity today. Up until today, despite everything, I was ok, I was still able to be in a positive state of mind, quite naturally, it’s my way to be. I know that all is well, in the grand scheme of things, and that our blessings are on their way. But today I received the news that my home will be repossessed, and from 19th December – 3 days after my 60th birthday, and just before Christmas – I shall be homeless.
As much as I love my home, don’t want to leave, it means so much to me, I could manage if it were just me; I’m sure I could find a friend I could go to stay with until all was resolved. But I have three cats, two of whom have special needs, and there is nowhere I can go where I will be able to take them. This thought is causing me much distress. I will struggle to find somewhere to rent and move into in two weeks, moving a whole house of stuff on my own. And that’s if I can find someone to rent me somewhere, as I’m sure they’ll decline once the credit check is done. My positivity has run away from me this evening, and I’m feeling scared. I still believe that all will be resolved before that day comes, but until it is, I feel it’ll be like living on a knife edge.
I feel very close to you all, we’re like a family, and I needed to let this out to those who would understand and not judge, and perhaps send me some positive thoughts and prayers. I feel so selfish, when so many others are in such awful situations – in fact I have a wonderful friend who’s just gone to join the MSF team in Syria, and some of what she’s reporting back to us really puts my situation in perspective – and some. Yet, this is my situation, and right now, I have no idea how this will end. My faith and trust has deserted me at the moment.